Currently listening to music while doing my homework. Doing my homework as in procrastination and writing a blog post instead. lmao. anyways. im on like season 4 of bungo rn and like oh em gee. yall i love love love jouno so much. i love him so much guys. hes so fucking stupid hes dumb. hes like really stupid i love him. hes just a little guy. i need to inspect him under a microscope. i love him. i only just now seen him and im lowk in love. hes like such a moody bitch someone needs to put him in his place. anyways. so lets see, what have i done this week? i learned how to play The Trooper by Iron Maiden on bass guitar, and in a few days im gonna perform it in front of my school with a couple other guys. i lowk gave up on music, but im like the only bass player in my tiny aah school so whenever people want a bass for their songs i always get recommended. buhhhhh. tomorrow is my siblings birthday. im still thinking about what to get for them. or make for them cuz i am straight broke. smh. i spent all my money thrifting a chuuya cosplay. i also learned Everything Stays from Adventure Time on guitar, and I think im probably going to perform that too? im not sure if ive mentioned it yet, but my school is a very artsy school. every like 9 or so weeks theres a big assembly and a couple of select kids get to perform pretty much. i dont really know whether i even like music or not, but i know i love performing. it makes me nervous when everyone is looking at me, but theres really not a better feeling than finishing a song and then people clapping. like damn at least one of these kids probably thinks im cool, and thats enough to keep me going forever. ive been reading bungo during my english classes everyday for the past few weeks. its paying off tbh. ive gotten pretty far. i started at chapter 18 and in like 2 or 3 weeks im all the way at 50 something. I also dug up a bunch of my old music from when I was just starting to write shit. Like, i was going through my phone for all my mp3s, cant remember why. And there were so many voice memos of me and my guitar. like wow. i dont know where all my confidence went, tbh. like i still write, i still play, but i rarely ever record. much less post it like i used to. thats scary. maybe im just a disappointment idk. Anyway. I currently have a C in math. Which would seem like it should be okay, but no thats terrible. down right terrible! i told my parents i wouldnt make any C's this year, but then shit got so much worse. So im probably going to get the shit beat out of me by my mom for that. i think i might even have a D in one class too. It is not looking to bright for me chat.
Last friday, I think I had one of the best nights of my life. I went out with my best friend and her mom for a makeover. Usually i would be a little insecure about something so overtly feminine, but it was really fun! i have never been feminine in my entire life, ive always wanted to be though, so it was a nice change of pace. We went to ulta, hot topic, a thrift store, and then got dinner together. We even had a small discussion on me maybe going on a trip with them over fall break. fun, eh? I rarely get out of the house due to my parents, so that just sounds so perfect. to be able to go on a trip with my favorite person, and my mother figure? I don't really know when or where I've grown to like Didi's mom so much, but she's rubbed off on me. Like. I have a mom, and I have a dad. They just arent... good ones? Im not saying theyre exactly abusive, but close enough to have gotten CPS sent to our house like twice, and for me to flinch at practically everything. But Didi's mom? She's nothing like that. Not at all. She's nice and kind and funny and even curses and jokes with us. Ive never felt truly comfortable around an adult before other than her.